I’m convinced most needed these days is simple. Simple reminders that we are enough and He is enough and what we can do today is enough. That’s my hope for this post. A simple reminder for a Thursday morning.
A few weeks back I sat at a coffee shop and had a conversation with a wise man years ahead of me. He asked how I was doing and what was going on in my life. I replied honestly that I was wrestling to find security and confidence in this season. So much feels unknown that it leaves me more than a little uncertain in myself.
I talked with him about some of my weaknesses that I haven’t been able to overcome in a deeply satisfying way. No matter how many times I read or speak out truth, I still find myself fearing, doubting, or stressing about what is trivial or without purpose.
“I want to be free, confident, and secure,” I told him. My words echoed what I was believing. Namely, that if I could tap into those things, I would feel qualified for what’s ahead.
“That sounds a lot like perfection to me,” he replied back. He’s never been one to shy away from the truthful words, which I welcome. The more truth he gives, no matter the sting, the more I know he really loves me. Though I definitely snarled up my nose and glared my eyes in a micro-expression of dislike over what he was digging into.
“God doesn’t want you apart from him, but dependent on him. Maybe those weaknesses are the gifts in this season to keep you closely tucked under God,” he said.
He kept speaking, but by then I was lost in the deep whisper of the Spirit. Like a swirling tunnel of wind around me, I kept hearing the same few words over and over. “Your weakness is my gift,” the voice spoke, with each repetition hammering its nail of truth deeper into my core.
Something happened in me in that moment. I began remembering.
So often it seems we confine the good gifts from God to what we publicly praise, celebrate, or proclaim as wonderful. That which others would long for is what we term as gifted. The gifts become what we testify to, encouraging those around us to petition and seek God for similar things.
But what if those good gifts include what keeps us deeply dependent on God, not what makes us independent from him? What if those defaults of our lives that leave us humble and low are actually the gifts of grace that keep us close?
I easily can look at weaknesses in my life as areas I need to overcome or eliminate. But maybe, instead of seeking to be free from such things, our place is actually to find God in the midst of what is weak within us. Then, instead of our story being about fixing, it becomes about finding.
To be weak isn’t to be far from God, but to remain as close as possible to him. And those struggles in us which birth deep dependence on him are grace. The great gift God will offer to us in any season is a sustained need for him. It may be easy for us to despise our weaknesses, but they are, in fact, the gifts of grace in our present season, not letting us wander too far from home.
If you’re weak on this Thursday morning, you are in good company. The kingdom is full of weak ones who are ever-learning to depend on the great, living God for the strength to walk through the day at hand. The kingdom will never be filled with the best, brightest, or most self-sustaining. So today is a good day to take a deep breath and let go of such expectations over yourself.
Instead, remember that no matter what weaknesses or thorns you may carry today, your journey is to find God. Release yourself from trying to figure out how to fix what is weak in you. Because what is weak may in fact be the beautiful gift of a God who longs for you to draw fresh breath from him today.